BRACK:  How would you deal with a jerk neighbor like this?

By Andy Brack, editor and publisher  |  If you’re like most people, there’s a neighbor or two nearby who you could easily do without.  He or she might even be a full-fledged jerk.

A friend in another state (yes, I really am describing someone else’s hell, not anything around my home) has a real jerk for a neighbor.  This guy’s antics have gotten to be just too much in recent days.  Over the winter, she caught him videotaping her child as she was gardening.  As I recall, he claimed he was making the videotape to show how the friend’s dog was breaking community rules by barking too much.  This nutjob apparently gets furious anytime a dog barks more than twice.

So the friend planted a bunch of really tall, fast-growing trees and vegetation to create a tall screen so the creep couldn’t videostalk her family.  And she started filing reports with police of his noise ordinance violations or whenever his dog got in her yard – which worked until the jerk’s dog died.

Lately, the guy has notched up the harassment by parking in front of her mailbox.  “He has a driveway, carport and parking pad, along with 200 feet of frontage on the cul de sac,” the friend said.  “I have about 5 feet including my mailbox.”

Why is the creep acting like a jerk again?  To try to interfere with the daily mail delivery.  (The carrier delivers anyway.)  If the jerk’s car isn’t there, his wife’s car is parked in front of the mailbox.

“They really try my patience,” the friend said.  “I wish houses could only be sold to real grownups.”

Our friend has been getting lots of advice – some of it hilarious – about what she should do about the guy parking cars in front of her mailbox. A sampling:

• “I certainly hope his tires don’t go flat,” one person said.
• Post a photo on your neighborhood website. “Pictures speak the truth.”
• Park in front of his mailbox.
• Start raising pigeons.
• Call the postal inspector, not the post office.
• Tie balloons to every part of his car. Make sure they’re tied at different lengths so it’s a veritable wall of balloons blocking all of the windows.  Bonus points for writing embarrassing messages on the balloons.
• Put a note on his door that says, “Dear Mr. ___. When you park your car so close to your neighbor’s mailbox, it inhibits me from delivering her mail.  If you park there again, I will not deliver your mail either.  Sincerely, your mail carrier.”
• Be kind. Do not touch his car.  Stay above it.  Speaking of which, I’m thinking a nice bird feeder would be in place.  Well-placed popcorn at the base of that tree would work.”

What would you do?  How do you deal with jerk neighbors?

Have a comment or a tip? You can contact Andy Brack at:    editor@charlestoncurrents.com.